above and not below: a poem

I am not above correction.

I am not beneath deception.

I feel, I felt, and I have tried.

My inner child has been crying.

I am hearing her voice and trying 

to console her. 

Ive been coping for so long, 

and it is hard to turn away from 

what worked.

But I have to face the facts, 

the hurt, the pain 

for her.

Loyalty is one I know,

in everything. Valued to 

my core. 

I wonder how much that 

has hurt me. Because I would

not let loyalty go, betrayal 

creeped in. When loyalty wanted 

to leave, I was left with her. 

I embraced betrayal because I 

needed something to embrace. 

Betrayal pacified my inner child.

And she was quiet and happy,

even as she rotted into

anger and rage. 

I am running out of time.

I cant keep playing with

them. I have to 

accept that I will always 

be misunderstood to a degree.

It's an expectation I need to remember.

So I welcome it and manage things 

they way I need to. 

I am sweet and I deserve good things,

I am not perfect and have hurt others 

in my past. But it is our responsibility to 

move on. So I make the decision to say 

goodbye.

goodbye to betrayal. goodbye to being loyal to 

loyalty. For my inner child. For her to grow and

be happy, as we all deserve to be.