[Whitney's psalm]: The one who sees me

When I feel unseen, when I feel lonely and vulnerable,
The Lord is my fortress.
Throughout all the turmoil and hardship I have faced,
God has never given up on me. 
There are days where I face myself and don't like what I see,
for I perceive I have been rejected by who I saw as most dear.
He reminded me that I matter most to Him, that I am accepted in His arms.
He knew my name before I did, and when I was lost, He spoke to me, the way He made me.
It was so hard to change my own mind, to convince myself that I am something of value. 
My friends would say "snap out of it", "this isn't you", "you are better than this". 
I would agree and breathe and tell them that I am trying. 
It was hard to hear just a voice. No warm hugs or high-fives.
But then I remembered:

I was in a boxing ring, fighting a faceless opponent. 
The seventh round had just ended. Blood and sweat dripping from my face. 
I went to sit in my corner. I was gasping for the air I lost in the fight. 
Tears are rolling down my face. I can't cry, because it would satisfy my faceless enemy.
"I won't give up, won't give up, I will not give up", I kept repeating myself. 
I was stuck in a trance of intense focus. I knew I was close to victory. 
I ignored the pains of the previous rounds. There were moments where I was vulnerable,
and my opponent struck with such brute force. I wept, I wailed. I fell to the floor in agony.
But the phrase held true. I will not give up. 
My eyes were on the prize. The prize of freedom. And I was almost there.

So I woke up. I wrote. I prayed. I sang. 
I walked back into the mirror and said "Congratulations".
I closed my eyes and took a moment of gratitude. This was what I prayed for. 
As I enter my home, I come in one piece and in peace. 
I breath a sigh of relief. My mind gets going and I am able to birth what my Father gives me. 
I am not alone. He sees me when no one else can. He sees the cracks, the crevices that I try to cover.
He even sees the deep wounds I have numbed myself to. 
He sees the tears that fall down and most times, disappears.
Because He is committed, so am I. 
For each moment I feel like giving up, I am given more strength to continue holding on.
To continuing fighting. Praying. Fasting. Praising. Worshipping. Reading and Declaring the Word of my everlasting Father. 
I will not give up to the one who sees me.